My Fellow Inmates,
Many years ago one of my mentors, James Hatton, who went by Bodisama, wrote a blog on the difference between friends and acquaintances.
I always thought it was just an interesting piece until the last few years when I saw this concept play out myself. It has made me think a lot on this, and I think its time to update James’s thoughts.
So what is the difference?
The people you know who have wronged you, lets say they steal from you, these people are obviously categorized: They are not friends. What about the people who listen to shit talk and dislike you on others words without needing to know your side?
Is that a friend that fell out or is that an acquaintance who never gave a shit?
What about the boy you used to date? Who broke up with you and then turned around told all your mutual friends what a terrible person you were? That boy isn’t a friend, but what about those others who listened to drama they were never a part of?
So what is the difference between an acquaintance and a friend?
To me a friend is someone that has your back. Someone who will hear someone shit talking you and tell them to shut the fuck up. A friend is someone who will jump in swinging when your drunk mouthy ass is knocked off a bar stool.
A friend is someone you haven’t talked to in years, yet the moment you reconnect they talk with you like you just spoke yesterday. A friend can fuck up in the largest way possible and all hurt is forgiven as we hold them while they emotionally break apart that they could have done that to you.
A real friend is forever.
So where does that leave everyone else? Are you all acquaintances?
Well, yes and no.
I can say I have friends on twitter. These people who have followed me for the seven years I’ve been a member of the kink consciousness… these are still not real friends. However they still aren’t just acquaintances. I know more about these people; parts of their lives, their kinks, what their fursuit looks like & how they will respond to my silliness.
But this is a different kind of friend.
You and I have never met and I have no idea if you have my back or not, nor I yours. Tomorrow I could say something horrible and your response very well could be “Fuck that guy”. This type of friendship can and will change in the blink of an eye.
A real friend would tell me I’m a royal asshole to my face next time they see me, but to them a relationship has been cultivated that’s more powerful than any stupidity that may have come out of my mouth.
A real friend already knows I’m an asshole and likes me for it =)
The other day I had a very nice surprise tied to this new website. I posted my “Welcome back” post & I received a comment response from Ty Dehner. This was the gentleman who directed the Ropedweb videos I was in almost 20 years ago. I haven’t talked to Ty in about 10 years I’m guessing, for no other reason than our life paths went their own directions. However he finished his comment with “Your friend, Ty”, and he is absolutely right.
These are the people who are worth fighting for. We live in a minefield of trigger culture where everyone has become agro about everything. It often can be very hard to navigate safely & I have come to lean on my friends who truly believe in me.
Sure I’m an ass, sure I’m incendiary…
So who are my friends? Those that will love me no matter who I am or what I do.
Pull these people close and never let them go. They are the ones that make life worth living.
With that Visiting Time is over.
Whatever you do don’t scream too loud as others are trying to sleep