My Fellow Inmates,
I must thank Hamptonjail.com & Meninchains.com for this experience we had. To be honest it was my first time in the Midwest & My first time in Solitary confinement…
But more on that later.
Our trip began in late September. Jay and I flew in to Minneapolis late in the evening, and we arrived at the hotel around midnight. I was blown away that we were unable to find a bottle of alcohol.
Wow how sheltered I realize i am, living in a state where alcohol is accessible all but a few hours of the wee morning…
Thankfully I had brought with me my “Emergency Kit” (and first rule of the “Emergency Kit” is you don’t talk about the “Emergency Kit”) =P
Our adventure began as many do, when you least expect it, for it was in Minneapolis where I discovered what a sketchy hotel room was.
We arrived at our hotel & Jay went to check in as I stood outside to have a cigarette… Then a second… Then a third. It was at the point I was starting to become concerned as Jay hadn’t reappeared in the last 20 minutes, that he finally showed back up.
According to him he had checked in & received the room keys so he decided to drop off his backpack in the room before coming out to grab the other bags. However when he tried the key in the room door it wouldn’t open.
So he went back down to the front desk & they rekeyed the cards. Jay tried to access the hotel room again, but once again the door wouldn’t open. Upon his second trip back down to the front desk he asked them to come back up to the room with him, which they did. The front desk attendant tried the key next but still the door wouldn’t open, so they tried knocking.
After some commotion inside the room the door finally cracked open.
“Who are you, and how did you get in this room?!” The front desk attendant asked. After some broken English response the door was slammed in the attendants face.
They went back down to the front desk & the attendant called the manager to find out what to do. In the process they looked up what they had left. Just one room with a single bed in it Jay and I would have to share. Since it was so late he decided not to argue, got the keys and came out to collect me and the bags from the car.
As we headed up to the room we crossed our fingers that the keys would work on this room, and fortunately they did.
The replacement room had its own unique ambiance. The scent in the air was a mix of must and body odor that was only lessened by the complex stain design motif that dotted the counters walls & carpets.
Being as tired as we were we were happy to have a bed to sleep in even if it would have been smarter to go to bed in head to toe latex to ward off whatever may be living in it. So Jay sat down to try to watch some TV as I went to use the restroom.
As I closed the bathroom door I started giggling as I noticed that some previous tenant in the room, who was wearing shit colored lipstick, had decided to blot it off by kissing the inside of the bathroom door. One can only assume that she (or he, lets be fair here) walked away from that kiss with more than they bargained for…
Then again to be fair I am assuming it was shit colored lipstick… Fuck, I’m hoping it was shit colored lipstick, lol
So touching as little as we had to, we finally went to bed to get ready for our drive in to central Iowa the next day…
With that Visiting Time Is Over. Whatever you do don’t scream too loud as others are trying to sleep.